Livin' only by Grace

haha! la lang.. this Christmas was really great! i may say so.. grabe kase si Lord.. talagang pag wala na, ndi ko na kaya...magre-rely na lang ako sa Kanya, dun laging nagiging wow! ang galing kase i didn't expect to receive gifts from anyone this Christmas.. ehehe..[ewan ko! wala lang..] pero ang daming nagbigay ng gift sa kin.. and not only that.. looking back to the past year, God has blessed me so much that i can't even count it! ang dami-daming blessings na ung iba, [sad to say] medyo ndi ko na nga maalala e.. pero i really owe it all to God... this Christmas was really great kase buo kaming family.. for about 10 years, [10 years na pala!] ngaun na lang ulit namin nakasama ung father ko ng Christmas.. it's been 10 years! and isa un sa mga wonderful gifts sa kin ni Lord.. plus, kahapon na lang ulit namin nakasama ung mga cousins and relatives namin [sa father's side..] normally, every Christmas we go to makati to be with them, pero na-stop.. and kahapon na lan...

la lang.. ehehehe.. 3 days to go and it's Christmas.. i should be happy.. haha! i should really feel that it's Christmas.. kaya lang, ewan.. parang it's just an ordinary vacation... [haha! sana makapag-bakasyon ako!!!!] kase this whole week, we've been practicing for Christmas cantata.. then after Christmas, sa speech choir naman sa school.. o dba..??? sana lang makapag-bakasyon ako!!! pero ndi nman ako nagrereklamo... it's great na may ginagawa ako.. it's for God's glory... pero bukod sa bday un ng ating Savior, parang ndi enough...? [ang sama ko noh!] nways, i just pray na sana pasayahin nalang ni Lord ung Christmas ko... ehehehe... buti pa ung mga kids, excited.. sana ganun din kadaling maging masaya ang mga teens. ehehehe...i think i have a clue kung bakit ndi ko masyado feel ang Christmas.. [but i know God is/will be teaching me what the real meaning of Christmas is..] first, siguro kase wala akong boyfriend.. [feeling ko kase, nagiging excite...

medyo four days na kong ndi ok.. medyo sinisipon, may ubo at parang lalagnatin pa.. tapos ngayon, medyo masakit pa ang ulo... haaaaaaaay.. grace na lang talaga ni Lord ung reason kung bakit pa ko nakakapag-practice sa dance.. mas lalo akong ndi naging ok nung christmas party... dun ako inubo.. tapos, ndi pa ko nakatulog kase may kung anong nangyari.. grabe! pero yesterday nakatulog ako after ng practice, mga 4pm.. then i woke up mga 8 am kanina.. o dba, ang galing? ehehehe.. im really amazed with God's move yesterday ng madaling araw.. some of my classmates were really convicted.. ehehehe..wala naman akong ginawa.. i didn't say anything pero i know na kaya ndi nila ko nilalapitan kase na-convict sila.. not because iniisip nilang galit ako.. [siguro partly ganun...?] pero si Lord pa rin yun.. grabe.. sana ndi na maulit yon.. but i do believe that all things work together for good.. ehehehe... i received something pink today grabe! grabe kase sila joan at hannah.. may...

la lang.. just wanna share.. this was the second time na umuwi ako na kasabay ko tong friend ko na to.. he's basta.. ngaun na lang kase ulit ako nagkaron ng friend na guy and i really enjoy our friendship.. la lang...

i'm tired of being stubborn... this past week had been oooaaaah.. feeling ko talaga stubborn ako! as in! tapos parang ang layo-layo ko kay Lord... then i've realized that what i'm lacking is prayer... ndi pwedeng Bible reading lang, fellowship, witnessing.. all four should be in balance mode.. sabi nga ng ka-team kong si tim, "bengkong" ung gulong mo pag nagkataon.. ehehehe... so, kaninang umaga, ginising talaga ako ni Lord.. and un... sa wakas! bumangon din ako!!! hahaha! then i prayed... just greeting Him good am.. then i read the Bible.. tapos, nag-pray ulit ako kase gusto kong ayusin ung prayer time ko with God.. and kanina na un.. sabi kase ni ate gil dapat mag-set ng time wherein un ung prayer time mo with God.. tapos kanina, grabe!!! as in!!! una, nag-pray lang ako ng tipong normal kong prayer.. tapos biglang... grabe!!! iba nga talaga 'pag si Lord ung talagang kumikilos habang nagppray ka.. as in ndi talaga pwedeng walang tears tapos you'll feel...

ewan.. i just feel like posting something today... haha... it's about tina's debut last saturday... uhm... la lang.. may mga bagay-bagay kaseng nangyayari sa sarili ko ngaun na ndi ko ma-explain.. i know that i'm not falling... it's just that im beginning to enjoy the company of this friend of mine na nung debut ni tina ko lang na-realize... i didn't dance nung nag-party na for the very reason that i treasure dancing that much.. na i will only dance for God.. and God alone.. tapos, 'tong isang friend ko na Christian din, medyo nag-compromise... habang naka-upo ako, pinapanood sila.. i just felt like missing the company of this friend of mine... ang kulit diba...??? tapos kung ano-ano pa naramdaman ko nun.. ewan! basta... bahala na lang si Lord kung sino ba talaga.. but this thing bothers me.. ndi tuloy ako masyadong makakilos ng maayos... ewan... medyo mali nga ung title e... pagtyagaan nio na lang.. [as if merong dumadalaw dito sa site ko dba..???] ehe...

yeah... because of the typhoon... pano na yan, mangangarag na naman kami kse maghahabol ng lessons sa physics... haaaaaaaaayyy... and few more days left and it'll be Christmas... ndi ko pa rin talaga ma-feel na malapit na ang Christmas... maybe i'm just too busy... or maybe tinotopak nanaman ako... haaaaaaaaayyyy... Lord... ano ba to...

im almost 2 hours here sa virtus... sa may nicasia... why..? ndi dahil sa walang pasok kaya ako nandito at nagiinetrnet... [pwede namang sa amin na lang dahil malapit noh?!] it's just that may usapan kami ng mga ka-group ko... 1..[e mga before 2 na ko dumatin...ehehehe...] kaso, wala.. ndi nagrereply.. pinatext ko na nga kay erika e.. [buti na lang on-line siya..] nways, uuwi na lang ako..at least, natapos ko ung mga dapat kong basahin na mails... un lang..

as of the moment, im still under construction... still undergoing some struggles and temptations for me to become a better me, as to what God wants me to be... and I praise Him because He loves me this much that He wants to mold me into a person of worth and value.. right now, im facing a challenge... pero medyo nawawala na... ndi na masydong obvious.. 'cause i know God is with me and He will help me... i'll just share it 'pag tapos na... pag sure na kong tapos na...

this week had been a whew! haha! but it's kinda less stressful than the first week... [akala ko lang un!] even though konti lang yung assignments, andami naman!!! grabe!!!!!!!!!!! pagod ka na nga sa school, tapos may pinapagawa pa sayo si Lord.. [ndi po ako nagrereklamo!!!] im just saying what i feel.. haha! this past few weeks kase, i can really feel that God is stretching me... He wants me to do something and it's kinda hard.. but then, i'm very much thankful because i obeyed Him not knowing what to happen next.. it's just that i knew and i believed that He has a plan... and yes, He has!!! it feels so great to see God working in your life... as of the moment, i've been doing what i've never done before... and that's to share - share the Word of God.. how much He loves us... His people.. i never had the courage to share this before... but then, God moved.. and because of that decision, i can now maximize my free time.. not just studying.. but mingl...

actually, i just don't know what to write or what to say.... it's just that i feel like i have to write something for me to remember it... this past few days had been very quiet... i can feel God's silence.. a lot!!! as in.. and a friend told me that God can be silent because of two reasons.. one, it's because He wants you to realize something.. and second one would be that it's the consequence of your disobedience... thursday afternoon was the start of this silence... God made me realize a lot of things.. starting from what's really in my heart that He wants me to surrender.. even to the point that it's like a period or smaller than that... to the very thing that He wants me to do... and what He wants me to do is somewhat hard for me.. i don't know why.. but i know i have to.. it's not that i'll feel so alone.. [there's no reason for me to feel so alone 'cause i know that God loves me so much!!!] and so, i've decided to obey ...

i don't know why i didn't feel ok as i woke up this morning... i'm spiritually not fine!!! feeling ko ang dami-dami kong ginawang kasalanan!!! waaaaaaaaaaahh.... [which is really true because we are sinners..] but God is so great that lumapit ka lang sa Kanya, isang prayer lang hinihingi Niya, ok na ulit kayo!!! ehehehe.. ndi Niya isusumbat sayo ung mga mistakes mo... sins... and everything.. because He loves us soooooo much!!!! then parang kailangan ko talagang mag-fast.. pinapalo na ko ni LOrd!! kaya kailangan kong sumunod.. fruits lang.. [nagbaon pa nga ko e...].. ehehehe.. seems like i really have to fast 'cause i know He'll reveal something to me.. and feeling ko kase ang layo ko talaga sa Kanya... since mahaba ang break, [at every thursday na lang ata ako makakapag-ERS] andito ko ngaun sa ERS.. [nagbblog malamang..]... and then God surprised me!!! WOW!!! as in.. i'm very unworthy but then, ganto...? i can freely talk to robert without any hesitati...

as i woke up this morning, i've found another reason to praise God.. He gave me another strength! He added another day in my life.. for the very reason that He has a purpose... and He wants me t to share His love to others too... this day seemed different... dati kase, gusto ko talagang magbabad sa church... but this day's really different.. un pala, may ipapagawa sa kin... i've decided to go home earlier than what i've used to... ang paalam ko kase, 6 ako uuwi... so, after the session, i went to cm to check for mails... tapos naglakad lang ako... i dunno why... it's just that i felt like i have to.. un pala, may ipapagawa talaga sa kin... then i saw this old friend of mine when i was in high school.. i kinda missed this guy 'coz he's been a good friend to me... he somehow helped me on something... and right that very moment, i knew God has a plan... He wanted me to help that guy 'cause He's an anti-Christ... so, we chatted for a whil...

just wanna share this.. grabe, ang galing talaga ni Lord... sobra!!! ngaung araw na to kase may ginawa Siyang kakaiba!!! as in... la lang.. kase, nakaka-usap ko na si ate ----.. ehehe, kadalasan kase ndi ako kinakausap nun e.. pero kanina, la lang.. nakakatuwa.. and God really worked dun..

wala lang akong magawa... tinatamad pa kong mag-aral sa consti... actually, ang magandang gawin ngayon ay matulog!!!! as in sleep... may eye strain na nga ako e kaka-aral..[haha!] 4 pa kase ung exam sa consti.. sana makayanan ko pa to.. gusto ko talagang matulog... haha!!! e what if love is sleeping...??? parang tulad ng nabasa kong article kanina, let love sleep... for an instance, it's right.. i was really blessed by that sharing.. as in!!! nakakatuwa talaga siya.. actually, as of the moment, ndi ko alam ang nangyayari sa kin.. minsan nga gusto kong i-isolate ung sarili ko sa maraming tao... gusto kong pumunta sa isang place na tahimik...[pero ayoko pa munang mamatay noh?!] ung tahimik lang na talagang makakapag-unwind ako.. tapos mag-uusap kami ni LOrd.. wala lang.. kwentuhan... ndi ko kase alam ang nangyayari sa kin e... ndi ko alam if im missing someone... but then, i know that all these things are happening kase God is working on me.. i have to learn how to b...

Oftentimes I choose to walk astray Not minding You, turning away Neglecting the things You want to show Because I'm looking for something more... I don't care if I'm hurting You or not Or maybe, I suppose, I don't sense that. I continued to follow my own decision And now I need a resolution... Though I have been unfaithful to You, You didn't let me go and flee from You. You continued to show me Your faithfulness, Showered me with love, sealed with promises... And now I'm here, taking this road, walking with You, I'm not feeling cold. I could only thank You for not giving up To my unfaithfulness, You showed me Your love...

time really flies so fast... 2 months to go and it's Christmas again... parang kailan lang Christmas din... the memories of my last Christmas is still fresh in my mind... i'm sort of reminiscin those things... hahaha... and as i recall those days, i don't know if i'll smile ['cause i'm lookin forward to what will happen in the future..] or i'll frown ['coz i'm missin those days.. it'll be different this time...] nothing's permanent except change... haha.. and it's really true.. it's also true that after a good event in your life, expect that you'll experience something not so good..[bad!!!!] ehehehehe.... /pif.... haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy................. i don't know what's happening to me.. i'm not expecting something this Christmas.. but then i don't know why i'm excited.. aha!!! God makes me feel excited 'cause He'll surprise me with something.. ehehehehe... iba pag si Lord un...

haha.. after 50 years, ngaun na lang ulit ako naka-experience mag-overnyt.. ehehehe.. thinking na sa greenwoods pa..[well, my high school peers would surely react on this..].. kila ate gil kami nag-overnyt, my churchmate.. konti lang kami.. ndi ung buong team ng worshipers.. kami-kami lang nila ate gil, hannah, irish, ako, at sai.. ehehehe.. pero si sai ndi masyado nag-enjoy kase bukod sa sumunod na lang siya, maaga pang umalis!!!! ehehehe... well, here are some of my realizations and unforgettable kakatuwang moments and experiences: » masayang matulog sa terrace kase kada gising mo, makikita mo ung moon!!! [sayang nga lang ndi na ganun ka-full moon../pif] » makinig ng mabuti sa may-ari ng bahay [kay ate gil] kung may back door ba talaga ang bahay nila o wala.. [para ndi makapaglakad ng naka-paa sa damuhan na nakakakiliti at medyo wetness.. akala kase may back door, un pala, back lang..] » makipaglaro ng pinball kay ate gil para malaman kung ano ba talaga ang ...

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived;Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left. Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment. When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help. Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of silver in my boat. There is no place here for you." Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered. Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, "Sadness, let me go with you." "Oh....Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself." Happiness passed by Love too, but sh...

this week was really... oaaaahh... i'm really down and low... i can't feel God's presence in my life.. it's like.. basta! but then, God didn't let me down... He never abandoned me... He's really faithful to HIs promises... i've been praying for something for these past months.. and right now, i can see a ray of light shining on those trials... God is really great.. it's a good thing i didn't give up.. ang maganda pa dun, ndi pa ko wholeheartedly na nagtitiwala.. and still, He will bless me.. hahaha! God is really great.. He's the hope that i can cling to.. I can endure all my trials through Him who strengthens me.. [philippians 4:13]

hay nako! bakit ba ganto ang buhay...??? nakakaloko lang father ko.. ehehehe.. nways, he's still the best dad though he's not here with us.. kaka-basa ko lang ng e-mail niya kanina.. and the last time he sent a message, he was asking kung nagkikita pa ba kami ni robert... then i said yes, but we are not talking that much... then kanina, after kong mabasa message nia, he said na dapat daw nag-uusap kami kahit papano.. haaaaay... kung alam lang niya.. nways, nagugutom na ko.. but i have to fast.. for certain persons in my life.. basta.. haaaaaaaaaay.. i wanna give up.. sa totoo lang.. minsan i just wanna cry.. i just wanna ask God, bakit po..??? but then, i have to thank Him for these things that's happening to me.. for i know i will reap a reward afterwards.. ang sarap ng feeling kung sasabihin sayo ni LOrd afterwards, "Well done, my good and faithful servant.." dba..??? "My flesh and my heart may fail But God is the strength of my heart and my p...

may concert kanina sa robinson's-dasma.. mini concert from Church of God... may kantahan, mime, and dance.. and may kakatuwang nangyari kanina... hahahahaha!!!! alam ko si Lord na ung kumilos dun e.. i believe so! it's like this... siempre, maraming taga-COG dun... [full support! ehehehe...] tapos nun.. i'm with Christ lang.. [kse, ung mababait kong friends, ininjan ako! joke!] tapos nun, biglang tinuro sa kin ni Christ si robert.. tapos tinignan ko lang.. e pambihira.. i can't help but look at him talaga.. kung san siya nakapwesto.. then i noticed that he's with somebody.. bigla kong na-feel na kasama niya ung girl dun.. [actually, girls pala kase 2 sila...] the good thing was, i didn't feel any jealousy or something.. ang problema nga lang, tinitignan ko siya.. then i saw him looked on our direction din.. tapos nun, feeling ko, alam niyang nakatingin kmi or tumitingin kami dun ni christ.. tapos un rin sabi ni Christ.. wala lang talaga un sa kin.. nakakatuwa...

it never entered my mind that today was the 13th day of september.. yes, i know that it was 13.. but i didn't realized that it was "13"... ehehehe.. well.. 13 is a very special day for me before... it is really a special one.. but God is really... wOw.. mapapangiti ka na lang sa mga surprises Niya a.. just like kanina.. i went to the church 'cause we'll be practicing for our resentation on friday for the youth fellowship and we'll make some IDs for the other youths.. then.. when we were staying outside the church.. sitting on the stairs.. i felt like it will kinda rain.. then i looked up and then to the right side.. then i saw a man.. naglalakad.. nagtetext.. naka-uniform pa ata... [ndi ko siya tinitigan ah!] then tumingin na ko sa mga ka-groupmates ko na katabi ko 'coz we're planning for the design of the t-shirt.. then bigla nilang nakita ung guy na nakita ko.. [ndi na nga ako nagsalita e...] well, si ate gil ok lang na makita niya kase sinabi lan...

well.. andito nanaman ako sa favorite na tinatambayan every tuesday and thursday, lunch break.. ERS.. ehehehe.. and ciempre, i'm with myk.. kami lang naman kase lagi ang nag-iinternet dito.. may free show sa may tapat ng chapel and nandun sila Christ, Meryl at Joy and iba pa naming classmates.. walang magawa ngayong araw na to.. i'm still suffering from body pain.. whew! feeling ko binugbog talaga ako yesterday dahil sa return demo namin sa rescue and transfer.. how i wish nakapag-warm-up ako! ehehehe... nways, we'll be having our practice mamaya s church for the pantomime to be held together with the concert rythm and soul sa robinson's pala-pala on september 18.. it's really great to feel that God is using you mightily.. all you have to do is to have a heart that's willing to serve God and just tell Him what's on your heart.. God is really great.. because for the past week, i thought super baba ng mga grades ko.. wala kase ako sa hulog.. but ...

whew! this day's some kinda... whew! grabe!!!!!!!! sobrang toxic and i was really wasted... grabe! kakapagod mag-return demo sa health care1.. actually, it's really easy.. kaso nga lang, mahirap pala pag ikaw ang favorite i-carry ng classmates mo... tipong, suki ka nila sa buhat!!!!! haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy........ /pif, /pif, /pif... ndi naman halatang i'm really tired and stressed.. more than 15 times akong humiga, binuhat, sinakay sa likod, bunihat sa braso, binalibag, binugbog, sinuntok, inabuso... joke! ndi na kasama ung last 3... and maayos naman nila akong ibinabalik sa dati kong pagkakahiga.. haaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy.. ang hirap ng in-demand! ehehehe.. [sana ndi na lang ako naging in-demand..] nways, it's really fine.. although i felt tired.. i know i've helped my classmates just for a little while.. and thank God because He gave me the strength i needed.. nakauwi naman ako sa bahay namin ng buhay...ehehehe.. ndi gumegewang...

wala lang.. i just felt like writing something new.. our midterm exam is over.. and wow.. finals na! la lang.. after that, 2nd sem na. then third year na kami! wOw! then fourth year na.. time is really so fast.. i don't know what will happen after ko maka-graduate.. wow.. ano kayang plans ni Lord..? honestly, a lot of things are bothering my mind.. /pif.. i don't know.. seems like i'm feeling something that i don't know what it feels.. ewan! ai nako.. i want to sleep pero tinatamad ako! ehehehe.. i wanna go to some places but i don't know where to? see.. magulo talaga utak ko! maybe i just need to have a break... to unwind..? whew! to pray a lot! and that's it!

Why true love waits Everyone longs to give himself completely to someone-to have a deep soul relationship with another,to be loved thoroughly and exclusively..but God, to Christians, say no,not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and contentedwith living- LOVED by Him alone!--giving yourself totally, unreservedly, to have an intensely, personal and unique realtionship with God alone.. "I LOVE YOU, MY CHILD.."" ... And until you discover that only in ME is your atisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of perfect human relationshipthat I have planned for you... you will never be united with nother until you are united with Me....exclusively of anyone or anything else.. exclusively of any desires of longings... I want you to stop PLANNING.. stop WISHING.. and allow MEto GIVE YOU the most thrilling plan existing..one that you cannot IMAGINE... ""I WANT YOU TO HAVE THE BEST.."" Please allow me to bring it to you... just keep WATCHING ME..expectin...