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silence...

actually, i just don't know what to write or what to say.... it's just that i feel like i have to write something for me to remember it...

this past few days had been very quiet... i can feel God's silence.. a lot!!! as in.. and a friend told me that God can be silent because of two reasons.. one, it's because He wants you to realize something.. and second one would be that it's the consequence of your disobedience...

thursday afternoon was the start of this silence... God made me realize a lot of things.. starting from what's really in my heart that He wants me to surrender.. even to the point that it's like a period or smaller than that... to the very thing that He wants me to do... and what He wants me to do is somewhat hard for me.. i don't know why.. but i know i have to.. it's not that i'll feel so alone.. [there's no reason for me to feel so alone 'cause i know that God loves me so much!!!] and so, i've decided to obey 'cause that's what God wants me to do!!! and i can really feel that i have to do that.. i don't want any impurities to defile my holiness.. i should live a holy life for me to take good care of the annointing and blessings that has been imparted to me...

whew!!! but there are no hard feelings.. it's just that i don't know how to deal with it... and as of right now, i want to feel ok.. but i think there's something that God wants to say or reveal to me, but i don't know why i can't hear it.. i know that i'm not the only person undergoing this trial right now.. i know and i believe that this will not last very long.. God is teaching me something.. i've realized that i really can't live without Him!!!! i really can't and i'm just thankful for that...

as to what my friend said, God's silence is a sign of intimacy...

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