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Issues of the mom-heart

I've read somewhere that everyone's miserable. They're just good at hiding it.
I have been trying to find out why this new season seems to be a burden to me. Don't get me wrong -- I enjoy motherhood and I love my little one but something seems to be blocking my view of experiencing it joyfully. 
Callie's already 10 months and everything just dawned on me -- why I was struggling, why I can't see things the way it should be, why I felt ineffective and frustrated and depressed. I think I just had post-partum depression. I just got back from my US business trip and I just bursted into tears a few days after while singing Jesus loves me -- as if I'm telling that to myself. I'm grateful that I have a husband who listens and understands and encourages me that I can do it!
I just realized the root cause(s) of what's going on after that incident.
I was too attached to Callie that I don't want her to leave my site when I'm with her. I know it's no…
Recent posts

Maturity

I was reading a long-overdue-book and I bumped into this:


I have been married for almost two years now and I suddenly reminisced my late teenage years... It was in those years when God made me realize that maturity doesn't come with age... I was younger then, when I understood this very excerpt from the book Let Me Be a Woman (funny how everything He taught me is already in this book had I not stopped reading it! Indeed His humor is amazing). I started reading this way back 2007 or 2008 only to continue it now and read this now. I stopped reading it way back then because I don't have plans of getting married yet... little did I know that He will make me understand this in His own personal way. And right now, I was like, "So Lord, You must be saying, 'I told you so..' right?" haha! ... 
The key to meeting your better half starts with maturity. And maturity comes from God.  
To those who are still searching for their better half, don't. Don't look for hi…

Thoughts

Exodus

Moses brought Joseph's bones out of Egypt when God freed them. Joseph made his family swear under oath that when God pays them a visit, they have to carry his bones with them. Joseph mentioned that surely, God will take them to the land He promised Abraham, Isaac & Jacob.
Maybe, Joseph's brothers tell this to their sons & daughters so even after x number of years, they are still reminded of Joseph's request. The Israelites know that the time will come when God will take them out of Egypt but maybe they just didn't believe so He needed Moses to perform the miracles, that they might know Him, trust Him and believe in Him.
Sometimes, we know what God said and what God promised us... but when it's already in front of us, it's hard to determine that God is already moving. Why? Because we are comfortable with the misery that we are in to. It dulls our senses and makes us forget the promise of God.
Be careful with where you are right now. It's not perma…

another chapter

seasons... seasons... seasons...

Another chapter... Another season...

I'm only holding on to Your Grace... I know I will get through... and soar high!

again...

And yet again, this feeling lingers... I don't know if I'm lost or tired or I dunno...

But I know, soon, this will pass away..

I just have to endure...


Unexpected Provision

We were accompanied by two couples a while ago to Ongpin to buy our wedding ring... We only have 5k at hand but the ring's for 8k... Ate Joy covered for the amount that we lack... but later on, she said that we dont have to pay it back! Then Ate Helen also brought her wedding gown... I tried to put it on and surprisingly, it fits me well!

I dont know what to say or think of... We were not raised to borrow from someone or ask for someone's help but God has His own way of providing for His children's needs... We may not expect it but He has His own way of hitting two birds with one stone--providing for your needs and teaching you some of His principles.

I was just humbled by this experience... Indeed, He never forgets... His promise remains!

It's my birthday and this is my heart's cry...

Come like a flood
And saturate me now...
You're all I want...
Come like the wind
and sweep throughout this place...
You're all we want...

I was dreaming I was handling a CST class again then I woke up haha! It put a smile on my face... training... It's my birthday and I was dreaming of being in front of the class haha! Good thing I'm on leave tonight. I took my phone, I had 5 messages... then I checked facebook and replied to those who greeted me but for some reason, my comments didn't post... While I was browsing on facebook, I was thanking God for giving me another year... This is my 25th year and I can say, indeed, I am blessed... Blessed to have a family, few but good close friends, and a special someone who's always been there for me... I can't ask for anything more! I can't even think of a gift when RJ asked me what gift would I like... hehe but I still asked God for something...

I asked that He enlarge my territory...
That I may be the salt and t…