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twenty-two

In a few months time, I'll be welcoming another year.. . I'm turning 22.. . Once, a friend told me how important goals are.. . She always has.. . When she turned 20, she wants to be like this.. . When she turned 21, like this.. . and so on.. . I tried to somehow do the same thing.. . but when I turned 20, I somehow screwed things up.. . *_* realizing that I can never do it alone.. .


Now I'm turning 22.. . What's in it for me? I remember a conversation between me and a friend when we were still teenagers.. . "Why are you excited to be 20 years old?" "It's because I can do more -- like decide more etc".. . But just now, I realized.. . how I wish I was younger.. . (haha!) Not that I regret things.. . It's just that I'm kind of "not ready" yet.. . I don't know.. . When I look at the people.. . my young cousins.. . sometimes I ask myself, "So, what's gonna happen next? I'm not getting younger.. . I'm getting older.. . In a few years, I'll be having my own family.. . have kids.. . and then.. . ? die? Is that all?" I'm not afraid of dying.. . what scares me is that I'd die without doing something.. . just doing the "routine" way of living -- entering this world, studying, working, getting married, having kids, dying. haha.. . I don't want routines! I want to do something significant.. . but right now significant seems so so blurry.. . -sigh-


Yes, I'm turning 22.. . learning.. . enduring.. . sometimes stubborn.. . but living life.. . not for my own.. . but for my Maker.. . I don't know what's in it for me.. . but that's life--full of surprises.. . I don't want to write down my goals when I turn 22.. . I'm afraid of screwing things up again.. . I'll just challenge myself.. . and no matter how old I am, this will still be my challenge.. . I know I shared this one time to a group.. . I just can't remember when.. . but the challenge is this,

By the end of this year, can you say to yourself,
I was able to love Jesus more than last year.. .?


I'll try to love Him more.. . because with His love, I can never go wrong.. . only by His Grace.. .because of His love.. .


Simple.. . but it's not easy.. . but it's not impossible..



Delight yourself in the LORD
and He will give you the desires of your heart.. .


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