Livin' only by Grace

God has been blessing me with so much for the past days... haha!!! and it's just amazing! natatawa na nga lang ako e... - Meron na akong fone binigyan ako ni Lord ng fone... ehehehehe... and sobrang kase ba naman fone ang pinagppray ko kse i need it for valid reasons... and fone nga ang nakuha ko... wala nga lang sim... - Merong magbibigay sa kin ng sim haha!!! and ciempre, ndi pwedeng walang i-touch si Lord na magbibigay sa kin ng sim diba... nabbadtrip na nga ko sa TM e... walang signal... - Ang kewl ng nanay ko we are really having difficulties sa bahay ngayon.. financially kase nga walang job si papa.. and just yesterday ata o the other day, i heard her say something na akala ko wala lang sa kanya... nag-uusap sila ni jon2.. and wala pa kseng permit ung bro ko.. sabi ng mama ko, kase mag-pray ka at magbasa ka ng Bible araw-araw... [side comment: huh..?!?!? e ang sabi nga ng nanay ko sa min ni joan baka daw mabaliw ako kakabasa ng Bible tapos ganun ung sinabi niya..?!] ehehehehe...

kababasa ko lang ng comment ni myk sa isa sa mga posts ko... it's about cheating... and yes... naalala kong bigla... grabe sa room kanina... i was sitting at the back pero mga 2nd to the last row... tapos hmmm..... as we were taking the exam, ok lang e.. ok pa... tahimik... kaso after ng term exam, may unit exam pa.. pag-alis ng proctor at pumasok ung prof namin sa subject na un at medyo nagkaron ng ingay e ayun na!!!! nagtanungan na ang mga nasa likod ko... ang masakit.... shox! may Kristiyano dun e... and i must admit i heard the voice... -sigh- nakakahiya kay Lord... and lahat na sila nagtatanungan.... nung wala na kong mapiga sa utak ko, tumayo na ko at nagpass ng papel.. tapos lumabas ng room.. and ndi lang pala ako ang nakaramdam ng ganun.. ung isa ko ring classmate.. kaya nag-pass na lang siya ng paper nia kase naiingayan din cia... ehehehe... parang kelan lang naglecture ang prof ko sa REED about CONSCIENCE... and we had small groupings with regards to the activity... ang...

i just finished one of my major exams... ob... and whew! only God's grace can help me pass that exam... i was just so eager to post something but then... it seems like my mind was drained so hard that i can't even think of anything to post...

we just had our discussion on our REED subject yesterday regarding conscience.. and there's this activity wherein we're given a situation then we shoul weigh the pros and cons then decide based from those pros and cons... the situation is like you're in an exclusive school and you kind of an honor student something before..and your parents expect a lot from you.. then you had this exam wherein your professor just made it diffucult for you and your classmates... then the previous batch cheated to pass that level.. it just goes like that... then, the activity is that you'll write 4 reasons why you should cheat... and 4 reasons why you should not cheat... then your decision... it's like, huh...?!??!?! i can't find any reason why i should cheat.. even if there's any, still, i can't find it... then my classmate said, " kahit minsan lang magkasala ka naman...lahat naman ng tao nagkakasala.." haha! alam ko naman un.. it's just that wala talaga ...

I come to You Lord time and time again needing some answers in questions i don't understand... _________ asking nothing in return Lord let me love You Please let me love You... i just want to live my whole life loving God... always feeling His presence.. His embrace... despite of the busy times in my life... as to whatever i'm going through... i want to love Him with my all.. to still worship Him with everything that i do.. sometimes... we come to a point wherein if we don't feel God by our side, ganun na lang... we don't miss the "feeling"... we tend to just go with the flow... and right now, ayokong ganun lang.. ayoko ng ganito.. ayoko ng hindi ko nararamdaman ung embrace ni Lord.. ung presence Niya... i don't want to be content with my situation with God.. i want more of Him... i'm afraid, yes... kase baka dumating ako sa time na mawala ako sa hulog... but thank God... alam kong nandiyan Siya and hindi Niya ko basta-basta iiwan... HE DIDN'T BRIN...

scalpel... scissors... kelly.. mayo... allis... bladder retractor.. richardson... BABY OUT!!! haha! for the first time, i had my first scrub at the operating room... of course, since it was in Fabella, it's LTCS [Low Transverse Caesarian Section]... grabe!!! sobrang sa start, it's like nangi2nig ung hands ko na first time nangyari.. tapos sobrang kinakabahan.. [pero tolerable] then, ang bilis kase kaya medyo ndi ko namemorize ung sunud-sunod.. pero nung closing na [nung suturing na] medyo alam ko na iaabot... allises.. scissors...scissors...scissors.. ehehehe... buti nalang mabait si Kuya Scrub Nurse at ung doctora... ehehehe... meron pa ngang souvenir ung patient e... flatus!!! ahahaha!!! [para sa mga ndi alam kung ano un, tanong nio na lang ng personal sa kin! ehehehe] ********** hmmmm... wala na kong matype... ehehehe... about my struggle.. it's not a struggle anymore.. kung ano man ung struggle ko, hmmm.. ciempre, si satan lang ang nagssuggest nun... and thank God kase ...

you are the epitome of perfection you have been my inspiration there is no sin that cannot beforgiven for you are my dream, your my heaven its never wrong to love someone likeyou, someone who makes my vision come true chorus: i promise to love you until the end of time i promise to hold you, through allthe test of time i wanna spread my wings and teach you how to fly until the end of time a dedicated husband you've been loving me so much to redeem me from all that caused you sorrow eager to hug me every new tommorow bridge: the God of me has trulydeclared____________________? dont keep on running, pls dont flee my beloved i wont set free... (you alone oh gomer) i love you so... i've forgiven you, more than you'll everknow... chorus... i promise.... i promise.... i promise you.... ******** -sigh- i just missed posting something on my blog...kaya tuloy medyo nakalimutan ko na ang mga nangyari sa kin... ehehehe... nways, i had my first duty sa fabella last friday... haha! sa O...

have you ever felt the feeling na you're addicted to pray... na lahat ng tao, bagay, circumstances na mapapasok sa utak mo, you'll pray...? it feels good.. kase sobrang ang daming dapat ipag-pray.. pero grabe ung experience ko kagabi na just because of this person, ndi ako makatulog kase ndi ko cia napag-pray... haha!!! it's like this, nakahiga ako nun.. tapos palipat-lipat ng pwesto kse nga i can't sleep... tinatanong ko lang si LOrd kung bakit.. it's like bakit ndi ako makatulog and sobrang ang gulo ng utak ko e wala naman akong iniisip..?! tapos, sobrang grabe!!! 1:00am na!!!!!! gising pa rin ako... tapos, pag harap ko dun sa kabilang side of the bed, -sigh- may taong pumasok sa isip ko... then i prayed for him.. tapos grrr.. biglang tumahimik ung utak ko.. ehehehehe.. tapos, may mga tao pang nag-flash sa utak ko.. tapos, dun lang ako nakatulog.. ang kulit talaga kase ndi ko naman iniisip ung taong un pero [sabi ni Lord] have to pray for him... sino siya..?!?!??...

hmmm... it's been a long time [i can say] since the last time i've done this thing... ung tipong sobrang magkwe2nto ka lang ng goodness ni LOrd sa isang tao etc... like witnessing.. and sobrang grabe lang talaga si LOrd.. He knows how much i miss that experience na you'll just open your mouth tapos si Lord na bahala sa mga sasabihin mo... and wow! i missed the JREV experience [the Baguio thingy!] and sobrang grabe talaga kahapon... sobrang grabe si LOrd... it's like : desire[in accordance with God's Will] + God's hands = voila! sobrang grabe that i've shared God to someone... and alam mo un, sobrang ang prayer ko kase is like LOrd, kahit isang soul lang... as in ina-araw-araw ko si LOrd na ganun... and wow!!! sobrang grabe... ung tao talaga ung lalapit sayo at magtatanong... then.. you just have to start doing it... open your mouth and speak...

-sigh- this was really a great day! haha!!! as in! sobrang naramdaman ko ung glory ni LOrd and how He fulfilled His promises... you just have to trust Him and rely on HIs WOrds and true enough na sobrang grabe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **** it feels great to talk to a CHristian classmate.. not that i prioritize talking with Christian ones.. but honestly, ngayon na lang ulit ako nakipag-kwentuhan - bout my beliefs and points of views in life! haha!!! wala lang... and im glad sobrang GOd made me feel blessed... un nga lang, ndi kami nakinig sa prof ko sa REED pero nways, haha! feeling ko mas may sense pa ang pinagkwentuhan namin! joke!!! ngayon na lang ulit ako nagkaron ng chance na magkwento ng past ko.. and it's a bit of a testimony na rin.. it feels great to talk to someone na same faith... same struggles rin... [quizzes! hehe] you'll learn a lot! and i love learning.... **** witnessing is one of the things that im fond of doing... [kaya lang ewan ko kung bakit medyo ung fire or p...

in one of my conversations with one of my friends, one asked me.." diba busy ang nursing..?! bakit whenever i see you it's like you don't look busy..?!" comment naman nung isa.. " ndi ka ata nag-aaral e.. ehehehe..." haha! ang naging reaction ko lang, huh..?!??! hehe... iba talaga pag may LORD! and then i checked the things that i've been doing.. i realized na, oo nga noh.. i don't look haggard or toxic... even though sobra ung tension sa paligid... isa sa mga manifestations, CUTE PA RIN AKO!!!! HAHAHA!!! [walang kokontra, blog ko to! =-p] hahaha!! kidding aside, that touched my heart.. ndi dahil cute ako... that made me realized how GOd has been moving in my life... naisip ko na, wow LOrd! grabe ka!!! sobrang oo nga noh?! san ko kinukuha ung strength ko... ang dami nang ginagawa sa school and yet, nakukuha ko pang magmukhang kewl at magpaka-toxic sa ministry.. [pero ndi toxic ang ministry.. first and foremost, dapat magpaka-toxic kay Lord!]... sobr...

in relation to my previous post [kse masyado na ung mahaba kaya hiniwalay ko to...] ndi lang un ang nangyari sa kin kahapon... bukod sa nag-faint with seizure ako... may isang taong ewan na ewan ko kung totoong concern on ewan... he's the guy na tinutukso sa kin ng mga classmates ko... and nako... [for joan's consumption na lang ung details...=)] to make it short, hinold-up niya wallet ko at kinuha ang pics ko... at may mga nangyari pa na ewan...

[i'm not bitter...=)] we just had our return demonstration for IV therapy yesterday... [yes, maglalagayan kayo ng suero ng partner mo!] i was not afraid dun sa fact na lalagyan ako ng suero... ndi naman ako takot sa injection.. [hello?!?!??! natapos ko na ang 3 doses ng hepa-b vaccine at nakuhaan ako ng dugo etc...] pero i fainted... and not only that, nag-seizure ako.. the story goes this way... kami ng partner kong si faith ang unang tinawag ng prof namin para mag ret-dem... nauna akong magtusok sa kanya ng IV.. edi yun... tapos na... tapos, it's her turn na.. edi tinusukan niya na ko ng needle... medyo nahigit pa nga at nabali ang needle... pero ok naman na... ndi na pinatanggal... the moment she pulled the needle and placed a cotton ball on the insertion site, naramdaman ko nanaman ang feeling na 3rd time ko pa lang nararamdaman... [ung para kang kinikilabutan at alam mong tinatakasan ka ng kulay..?!??! first time ko un naramdaman nung biglang sumakit ang tiyan ko kaya ako ...

we had our IV therapy seminar kanina.. and one of my classmates was assigned to lead the prayer.. e tapos, kanina lang ata nasabi sa kanya... bigla ba naman sabi sa kin, "Mhe, penge naman ng prayer..?!" -huh...?! ndi ako sanay ng ndi spontaneous prayer... "kahit ano.. ung saulo mo lang..." -[grrr] ndi ako nagsasaulo ng prayer noh!. haaaaaaaaaaay... lam mo ung bigla kong napagpray [nung nagppray na] na sana turuan ni LOrd mag-pray ang mga tao...

hmmmm... it feels great to become a part of a play again.. we just had our play yesterday for our lit class entitled "A rose for Emily..." it's some kinda love story but sort of tragic and puro patayan etc... ehehehehe.. and for the first time ata, haha! ako ang isa sa mga lead role.. i played the role of young emily... who came from a rich family but her father did not want her to have any relationship with any man... [in our revised script, medyo may affair sila ng father niya..yuck!]... then, she killed her own father [sa script lang namin..] tapos, she fell in love with a yankee na bading naman.. ehehehe.. she killed him.. tapos, ung parang butler nila na si TObe, dun in love si HOmer [ung yankee].. pinatay din ni tobe si homer.. o dba..?! winner..?!?! joke.. the play was successful... ciempre iba si LOrd!!! ang kinagulat ko lang... when i was praying nung time before kami mag-perform, sobrang ang dami kong naririnig na naga-agree sa prayer ko...and i was really shock...