I applied for the Trainer post few months ago and I passed... Now, the training for the Training Apprentice has started and it seems like I don't know what to do... I know I can do it... I used to handle groups before, talk in front of a lot of people with confidence and all those stuff... but now, it seems like Im incompetent... im not skilled anymore... i feel like Im on Moses' shoes... but I believe that He who began a good work in me will carry it to completion! He didn't bring me here for nothing! So please pray with me that I'll be able to find my strength and confidence in Him and that I'll be able to endure this season and see His glory revealed!
I've read somewhere that everyone's miserable. They're just good at hiding it. I have been trying to find out why this new season seems to be a burden to me. Don't get me wrong -- I enjoy motherhood and I love my little one but something seems to be blocking my view of experiencing it joyfully. Callie's already 10 months and everything just dawned on me -- why I was struggling, why I can't see things the way it should be, why I felt ineffective and frustrated and depressed. I think I just had post-partum depression. I just got back from my US business trip and I just bursted into tears a few days after while singing Jesus loves me -- as if I'm telling that to myself. I'm grateful that I have a husband who listens and understands and encourages me that I can do it! I just realized the root cause(s) of what's going on after that incident. I was too attached to Callie that I don't want her to leave my site when I'm with her. I
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