I've read somewhere that everyone's miserable. They're just good at hiding it. I have been trying to find out why this new season seems to be a burden to me. Don't get me wrong -- I enjoy motherhood and I love my little one but something seems to be blocking my view of experiencing it joyfully. Callie's already 10 months and everything just dawned on me -- why I was struggling, why I can't see things the way it should be, why I felt ineffective and frustrated and depressed. I think I just had post-partum depression. I just got back from my US business trip and I just bursted into tears a few days after while singing Jesus loves me -- as if I'm telling that to myself. I'm grateful that I have a husband who listens and understands and encourages me that I can do it! I just realized the root cause(s) of what's going on after that incident. I was too attached to Callie that I don't want her to leave my site when I'm with her. I
I was reading a long-overdue-book and I bumped into this: I have been married for almost two years now and I suddenly reminisced my late teenage years... It was in those years when God made me realize that maturity doesn't come with age... I was younger then, when I understood this very excerpt from the book Let Me Be a Woman (funny how everything He taught me is already in this book had I not stopped reading it! Indeed His humor is amazing). I started reading this way back 2007 or 2008 only to continue it now and read this now. I stopped reading it way back then because I don't have plans of getting married yet... little did I know that He will make me understand this in His own personal way. And right now, I was like, "So Lord, You must be saying, 'I told you so..' right?" haha! ... The key to meeting your better half starts with maturity. And maturity comes from God. To those who are still searching for their better half, don't. Don